Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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