Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
