Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
only if we run a train.
done.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
