Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
