I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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