I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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