Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
