I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
