My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There r osticjed everywhere
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
