Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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