so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
