i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
