Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
