And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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