i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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