Your tits are I can't wait for
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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