kristin has been a bad kristin
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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