did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
