I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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