So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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