the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Randomize
