I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
17 year olds will be the death of me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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