next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
