Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
