So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
