oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He passed out mid-signature
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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