im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
