i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
