The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
