I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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