i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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