Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
