I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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