She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
