i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
