She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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