wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
