Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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