The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just had sex on a roof
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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