Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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