I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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