Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
