every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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