So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
