I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
