i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
