made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize