her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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