People in love make me want to vomit
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
