It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
love makes seman taste better
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
