I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i would punch a child for taco bell
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
