But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
