SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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