My Higher Power is John Stamos
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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