so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
