please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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