Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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