So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
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