I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
