I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
