I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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