Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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