Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize