when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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