Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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