My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
