I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Randomize
