So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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