I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
