Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
