I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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