i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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