She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
