I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
