So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
